She announced her abortion via fbk
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
