ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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