nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
