I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
