Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
