hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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