New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
