Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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