Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
