i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
