i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
