last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
