I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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