I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
