Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
