Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
