so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
