plz talk dirty to me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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