He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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