We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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