Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
