so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
