i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
