I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
50% drunk capacity currently
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
