guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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