Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
