Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
being pregnant is like rehab
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
