Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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