another moral hangover. fuck.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Everything about him screamed your future.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
