and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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