..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
