kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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