My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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