I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
