I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
