Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
is it fun? or sober?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
