apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
