I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
