Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
