why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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