Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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