so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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