So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
