Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
