The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
