lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
