9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize