My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
