OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I CAN MOONWALK!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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