I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
