he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
