Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
