How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize